Faithful

The last couple of posts have been about change in my life, those of which are not nearly over.

“if we are faithless, He remains faithful — for He cannot deny Himself.” – 2 Timothy 2:13

Let’s go back to spring. Location: Sagemont:Awaken, Wade Owens was teaching, and the Lord very clearly spoke a word to me.

“Family Pastor”

My response, “Lord what does that even mean?” I tossed around what that could mean, I contemplated, maybe He means, that I am to be a pastor in a church? Or maybe, He wants me to start a family and be a pastor in the home? Or maybe He wants me to be a pastor to the family He has placed me in. So, I began to pray.

Caleb, my brother who has followed Christ for about 2 years, he and I have cried out to the Lord on behalf of our parents and our brothers for about 1- 1 1/2 years now. We have tried to share truth with our family at family events, dinners, get-togethers, etc. and their hearts if anything hardened. So, Caleb and I prayed for the Lord to place other people in their lives whom, would share the same truth of God’s love and transformation, but it be someone they respected.

I continued to pray, I began to believe that the Lord was calling me to be even more intentional than He called me to be late 2010 with my family. He had for me to spend even more time with them. I thought, at the time, that He was telling me to move near them, but I brushed it off as something the Lord couldn’t be calling me to do. I had no desire to move out to the boonies again. I sure didn’t want to live in Bacliff. The Lord continued to speak to me about this and He began to prepare my heart for what was next.

You may read the events of the months to follow in previous posts. The full story is as follows regarding where the Lord has led. After the AEFFECT in June with Sagemont’s student ministry, the Lord began to show me that my time in that ministry and in the body of Sagemont was nearing a close. This is not what I wanted to hear from the Lord. He began to show me that my workplace, and my family are the areas He wanted me to begin focussing my attention in ministry. One of the last places at this point I wanted to minister was at my work. Things were getting CRA-Z, so much backstabbing, so much hatred, anger, and anything in opposition to God’s love. I sought some counsel from Don and Jaleh Borden, regarding work as well, seeing if maybe the Lord had for me to find a new workplace to minister in. They advised me to seek counsel from a pastor friend of theirs in Clear Lake. They told me he worked full-time at NASA, and was the pastor of the church. At this point, I recognized he would be an amazing person to talk to, because he is in full-time ministry and working full-time in the world.

I talked to Scott Condict, the student minister at Sagemont, a few weeks upon my departure, and told him what I believed the Lord was leading me to. He asked where I was going to go, and I told him, I didn’t know, and the Lord hadn’t shown me yet. I left his office praying to the Lord, “God, I really hope this is what You wanted me to do, cause, I am gonna feel like a fool if its not.” I called Seumean,(pastor at T.O.U.C.H. Family Church) on Wednesday night, and left a message on his phone. We touched base on Thursday, he offered to meet with me that afternoon. I took him up on his offer, and we met in a conference room at USA (United Space Alliance), the company he worked for. I had never met or heard of him prior to Don and Jaleh, giving me his number. So, I didn’t know what to expect, except him not being white.

The meeting began with Seumean asking a question, “What nationality are you?”. I began to tell him that my mom is white and my dad is Korean. He asked, “What is your dad’s name?” I told him, and then he told me that he knew my dad. I was like, “What?! you’re kidding me?! How do you know my dad?” He said, “I have been ministering to him for several months.” I said, “This is a trip! How did you meet him?” He responded, “I was a customer at his workplace.” I asked what he had been telling my dad, and he told me, “To put the Lord first in his life!” I laughed and said, “Caleb, my brother and I have been telling him the same thing!”. Seumean responded, “Your dad said his two sons had been sharing some of the same stuff with him. Actually, I have been wanting to meet you!” From this point forward I began to share the life story of myself, and what I believed God wanted for my life, also, the struggles I was having in my workplace. He ended the conversation asking me if I had any questions for him. I said, “yah, tell me about your ministry and your church!” He began to tell me that he believed the church is not a building but it is people, and that if the church is people, then he would invest all his resources into building up the church. Next, he told me that they heavily emphasize discipleship as a cell church. At this point I thought it sounded like maybe this is where God was leading me all this time. He continued, and told me of how it is a small church of 50-60 people whom are representing 12 different nationalities. I asked him where they met, he told me they met in Webster. That they rented out a gymnasium at a Chinese church next door to the Physician’s hospital. At this point, I’m rather shocked…”That is where I work! You are telling me that ya’ll meet in the church that shares a parking lot with my hospital?! I would like to visit Sunday!”

Since, God confirmed this is where He desires for me to be.  I have been obedient in what He has called for me to do. Seumean and his family have also been very intentional in ministering to my family members. I have seen many lives changed. The Lord began to work on my mom about 5-6 weeks ago. He has transformed her in the last 4 weeks, and she has begun to follow after Christ with her whole life. Since, she has been manifesting some incredible spiritual gifts, and received emotional deliverance and healing from bondage she has walked her whole life in. She has begun to see, the religiousness, that she lived her whole life, and has begun to understand the relationship that we have been explaining.  I could not fully explain the incredible work that the Lord has done in her life the way she can. I can only continue to worship and magnify the God whom I love.

Caleb and I cried many tears for our parents marriage in the prayer meetings at Sagemont. It was just this week that our dad, has chosen to follow after Christ with his life. I am not surprised, the change in the life of my mom, is very significant, visible, and a challenge. If God can heal all those pains, then He must be real! My dad spoke of how, he saw something different in the people in the cell group I attend (he and my mom have attended for a month). He wanted to be as close to God as those he was seeing. Friday, I asked my mom to come join me for some ministry, her response, “I gotta pray about it, I believe that God has for your father and I to spend some time together alone all day.” Had my mom said this 2 months ago, I would have dropped dead of a heart attack.

These are not all the lives that I have seen God work in and transform, but I had to proclaim the Faithfulness of God and how He has worked and moved. I remember countless prayer meetings in which we have cried out for our family members, friends, coworkers, etc. I have been seeing some breakthrough in my workplace as well! My youngest brother, he chose to follow after Christ with his life in June, but the rubber has yet to meet the road. Good news though, within the next few weeks, I will be moving, to…Bacliff. One block away from my parents house. For the sake of my brother Josh. My prayer is that he will finally allow me to disciple him and begin his journey that God has set before him. Continue to pray however, my brother Seth and his wife, Danyelle still do not walk with the Lord. Also, there are other extended family members who do not have a relationship with God. The good news is, my God is Faithful!

Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD;
		his going out is sure as the dawn;
	he will come to us as the showers,
		as the spring rains that water the earth.”
(Hosea 6:3 ESV)

	Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is 
plentiful, but the laborers are few; 
therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest 
to send out laborers into his harvest.”
(Matthew 9:37-38 ESV)

I write and include all of you in this because, this is the work of the kingdom! God is bringing revival, it starts in the home. God hears the cry of the righteous, and we as followers of Christ are made righteous by the blood of the Lamb. God hears your cry when you plead and intercede for the lost. He gives us His love for those whom we plead on behalf, and we begin to see Him transform, not by anything about us or what we have done, but by God and His grace and love. Let us be those spoken of in Daniel 12:3, let us shine like the stars as we lead others to the righteousness of God.

“Those who sow in tears, shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping bearing seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.” – Psalm 126:2 ESV

PeACe

daneK

Take Heart -Hillsong United

There is a light
It burns brighter than the sun
He steals the night
And casts no shadow
There is hope
Should oceans rise and mountains fall
He never fails

So take heart
Let His love lead us through the night
Hold on to hope
And take courage again

In death by love
The fallen world was overcome
He wears the scars of our freedom
In His Name
All our fears are swept away
He never fails

All our troubles
And all our tears
God our hope
He has overcome

All our failure
And all our fear
God our love
He has overcome
All our heartache
And all our pain
God our healer
He has overcome

All our burdens
And all our shame
God our freedom
He has overcome

All our troubles
And all our tears
God our hope
He has overcome

All our failures
And all our fear
God our love
He has overcome

God our justice
God our grace
God our freedom
He has overcome

God our refuge
God our strength
God is with us
He has overcome

May Jesus increase, that I may decrease…

Hold on tight! That’s the first thing my “self” wants to do when I am about to eject down the top of a roller-coaster hill. Sadly, I’m afraid to let go at times. I can look around at the others on the ride and find they are having more fun, arms raised, free from care/worry, and enjoying the ride. I trust the ride enough to get on, in that I don’t believe I will die by riding. Though, why not enough to let go and enjoy the ride without fear and need to hold on? My heart still pounds, and adrenaline still pumps. I get all the physical benefits of the ride, but don’t allow for the mental benefits of letting go. Why?

I have this underlying fear about me. It involves not wanting to give up physical control of my physical body. I duck my head as we take sharp dips under the previous, or future tread tracks, and Lord knows, I most times hold onto the hand rail inside the car. Still, why this fear? I don’t want to lose an arm (or two), nor do I want to be decapitated. Better yet, I really don’t want to fall out. There are some rides however, I have ridden over and over. These allow for me to feel free to let go and enjoy. I know them, they are familiar. The danger of death still exists, but I disregard it because, I am comfortable.

This is really just deception. My mind allows for me to erroneously believe that I’m safe on this mechanical, man-made, thrill structure. Death, still a possibility, and injury, just as well. All this is still possible regardless of being on the coaster or not. Here is where I have to recognize, God, He is still sovereign. He decides my breath and life. Does this mean I should live life carelessly? Well, it depends on what you determine as careless. Stepping in front of a moving vehicle? This would be careless, dangerous, and likely, unbiblical (in that, it doesn’t further the kingdom of God). What about taking one of my disciples up on something the Lord has pressed on his heart — staying overnight as a homeless person with the homeless? This is, and would be dangerous, uncomfortable, (Did I mention, the inability to hold onto the safety rail?no money, no cellphone, and no vehicle, i.e. no turning back?).

We have yet to do this, but God has prompted me to support Dacota in this adventure. We always have the opportunity to ride the rides in the amusement park. Regardless of which ride we choose, there is still danger. Sometimes, there is joy that follows both rides, however, one is the kiddie ride, and the other is the big boy ride. The big boy ride, is the one that provides the most thrill action; it has the highest heights, the best view of its surroundings, and provides value and worth to the ticket purchase for park entry.

Lately, in my spiritual walk, I have attempted at times, to ride the big boy ride. The big boy ride is out of my comfort zone (spiritually that is, I love coasters, holding onto the rails or not, I rather enjoy the scary rides). Still, I find it impossible for myself to let go, lift my hands and trust that the end result is not of destruction. The release of deceptive control, takes me where I don’t selfishly want to be. My heart may pound a little harder, and my stomach flies more quickly into my throat, but I still shout in excitement. There are many moments in which one could see things that few others see. Others may look and wonder what it would be like to ride the ride, but they choose not to and only dream. They may see the excitement of those who have ridden, and part of them still wants to ride, but the fear is still there. This fear of control, subduing all ability to experience freedom and pleasure.

Sometimes, the ride, can be too much for the body to handle. Signs read, “Don’t ride this ride if you are pregnant, have back problems, heart problems, etc.”. For some when this sign is read, there may be an understanding that there is no hope of riding this ride; it simply wasn’t meant to be. On the other hand, danger, remember, exists anywhere, and God knows our final breath.

So, let’s say one rides the ride, let’s even say one dies. The highest heights are seen, and what only few at one point could see and do, was done. We experience joy, and we are fulfilled; the ticket we bought, is well worth its price. Of course, if I am to die, my final destination as a follower of Christ, is an eternity with Him. Also, this ride, is a ride He desires for me to live. He  said He came to give me life, and life MORE abundant. The abundance comes from being outside of my comfort zone. Lifting my hands, knowing the end result is for good.

We have not even yet to truly understand or experience all God has created us for. When we but taste, what God has for us we will never be able to imagine the not letting go. The boring uneventful way that things were, we will not have a desire for that dryness of ourselves.

——————————————–

God took me back to Bucees. I was driving home late from Clear Lake, on the freeway God told me to go back. He told me to pray for healing. I didn’t know who, I didn’t know what. I will say this, the Holy Spirit moved. I again, didn’t want to be obedient, but I pushed through. The Lord allowed me to see His provision, since my previous midnight visit, and more. We can never know what exactly God has in store for us, better yet, for those He wants us to serve. We, get this, get to see God’s power, healing, deliverance, forgiveness, grace, justice, mercy, love and experience His presence, all poured through us as empty vessels, who have lifted our hands and said, “Lord, You control the ride! I am letting go of what I am comfortable with, of what I know is safe, for what You have.” We can see His pursuit of us, through our use to pursue others with His love. Sometimes, we may even see someone delivered from demonic possession and oppression, with a lot of humorous experiences along the way. He may not do things the way we think or would like them to be done, but our blessing is in the obedience.

The challenge presented here is in three parts:

1) Get on the ride

2) Lift your open hands to the Lord

3) Deny the urge to grab the safety devices

We must do these if we want to experience the freedom of joy, and fullness of life. However, the Lord will continue to fulfill His plan, the question is, “Do we want to enjoy the ride as much as we could, or do we want to hold on in fear?”.

⁷for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7

PeACe

daneK